The Lessons I Didn’t Ask For (But Probably Needed)

Day #4!

Jul 04, 2025

Today, we’ve got another video because I got to move into my new office space! I thought a video today would be a sweet memory for the future.

Honestly, it feels like life is kicking my ass. I found out two days ago that I have to move this weekend. And I was absolutely blindsided by it. I don’t have money saved for furniture, pots, and pans, and all the other odds and ends that come with getting a new place.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to live by myself, but I really had no idea this was coming.

So for now, I’m going to rent a space at my friend’s house while I work on getting my finances together. I know, deep down, that it’s about time I focus on money. I’ve just been avoiding it.

God always gives you what you need, huh? Not always what you want, and sometimes he pours a couple pitchers of ice cold water over your head. When it rains, it pours.

All I can do now is lean on my faith and friends.

Glows, Grows, Gratitude

Glows: Hey, new office space! That’s a huge moment for me.

Grows: Not having enough saved up to help myself out of these crappy moment is something that brings me a lot of shame. I really want to work on fixing my relationship with money.

Gratitude: My friend for letting me use her unused space to work. My other friend for giving me a place to crash while I get back on my feet. All of my friends overall who have rallied together to support me through all my current headaches.

Daily Tarot Pull

Question: What is life trying to teach me right now?
Cards: Death, Two of Wands, Nine of Cups
Analysis:

How to let go with grace.
How to surrender control.
An overall period of transformation (which, to be fair, I have been praying for. Just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. Be careful what you wish for, huh?)
How to choose myself, my dreams, and my aspirations.
It’s forcing me to take a leap of faith and trust that all these endings and new beginnings, however unwanted, are ultimately for my greater good.
How to expect more and stop accepting whatever is given to me. As in, most of what I’m being asked to leave behind did not fully satisfy me, but I accepted them because they were there. Not because I genuinely wanted them.

The Lesson I’m Learning

A lot. Haha.

I think the lesson I’ll choose to focus on for now is financial health.

The way I’ve been living these past few years has been incredibly meaningful and surprisingly cheap. I’ve been able to travel so much while making, on average, $200 a month. I am really glad I did that, because I have made so many memories that I’ll carry with me forever.

However, my suitcase is beyond ready to retire. I’d really like to settle down and grow some roots now, and to do that, I need money.

And to have and keep money, I need to heal my current relationship with money. I know it’s not great. I know there’s wounds there. But it’s time to pull on my big girl pants and get to work.

The Book I’m Reading

I actually picked up a book last night. And set it right back down.

Books really are like a nice bottle of wine. When you’re ready to enjoy them, it’s perfect. When you force it, the experience loses a bit of spark. I’ve got a huge TBR and tons of books half-read and over 100 books I could read on my kindle.

But I still haven’t found the book I want to read. I don’t know if that makes sense. I’d love to be reading. I do not currently have a book I enjoy reading.

Photo Dump

First photo - My friend’s flower shop :)

Second photo - The state my new office was in pre-clean and move-in. It’s already improved a lot. Still got a lot of improvements to go.

What I’m Listening To

Chasin’ You - Morgan Wallen

28 - Zach Bryan

Starting Over - Chris Stapleton

A few weeks ago, I came up with the idea to check the Top 50 country on Spotify. I thought to myself, “Yeah, I don’t listen to it that much. Probably won’t know very many of them.”

I knew (and had liked) more than half of them.

Who was I trying to kid?