It's Not Too Late To Choose Yourself

What you did yesterday has nothing to do with today.

Photo by Julia Caesar on Unsplash

Just because you did yesterday what you’ve been doing for years doesn’t mean today has to be the same.

Even if you spent your entire morning rotting in your bed thinking about all of the ways in which you suck and life is terrible, there’s nothing stopping you from getting up at noon and starting again.

Whether this be in the context of today, a relationship, or even a long life barely even lived; You owe nothing to past versions of yourself.

You don’t have to keep being what you are just because it’s all you’ve ever been.

No one can make you love yourself any more than you already do, but it’s worth deeply understanding that no one can love you more than you love yourself.

You may think choosing yourself is this violent and selfish act because you can’t see how this one small rebellion trickles down into your entire environment, because the faster you commit to your own happiness at all costs, the faster your sister will, the faster your mother will, the faster your daughter will. Every creature on this planet benefits from the love you give yourself; everyone and everything you do leaves a trace of extra love in its wake.

How is it easier to stay in this self-hatred than to take a good hard look at how insane you’re acting? What goodness does hatred serve in any of the forms in which it comes? Have you considered that perhaps by choosing the comfort and ease of continuing on as you are, you’re being a million times more selfish than if you did the work to view yourself as valuable?

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean taking anything away from anyone else.

It means promising yourself that no matter what happens, you’ve got your own back; that your enjoyment of life matters; that how you feel each and every day is important; that you do not have to unnecessarily suffer for the benefit of another.

There’s a five-year-old inside of you wondering why you hate them so much. What makes that child’s interests and hobbies any less valid than any of the other interests and hobbies in the world? Why is the well-being of literally any other person more important than your own? Why do you abandon yourself at every possible opportunity?

Even if your 60th birthday is around the corner or if you feel like your life has yet to truly begin, your right to exist does not depend on your continual ability to disregard yourself and prioritize everyone else.

One day you are going to die; you need to understand this. You have an expiration date.

What has your life for if not for the experience of who you are?

You need to choose yourself because your here is already coming to an end. If you don’t choose yourself, who will? It doesn’t matter how you’ve decided to live your life up until now; are you brave enough to decide you deserve to genuinely enjoy however much time you’ve got left?

You don’t have time to continue on as you were just for the sake of not rocking the boat.

Rock it. Tip it over. Fuck everything up.

Can’t you see you only have so much time left? You’re not going to get a second chance.

It’s not too late to choose yourself; you can’t afford to keep wasting your one shot at life.